Days in a Daze

            As a brand new SAHM you will inevitably have some days that are unlike other days.  These “some” days that I am referring to are the Dark Days.  Let’s face it, not everyday is going to be peaches and cream.  Some people may tell you otherwise but as I told you in the beginning, I am going to tell you the truth.  Most days are joyous, the days when you can’t wait for you little one to wake so you can spend time with him or her but the other days, the dark ones…

After awhile of being in the new at-home role, just about every SAHM will ask, “What day is it today?”  Sometimes I have even managed to miss two days… “What do you mean it’s Wednesday?”  The days whiz by so fast that you can’t seem to grasp a hold of them.

            I remember when I was working at a full-time job the idea of a day just flying by was something I’d wish for, almost as hard as a kid wishing for a snow day.  But this new full-time job of being a mommy, housekeeper, CFO, accountant, chef, and

sex goddess (ha, I just through that last one in to see if you were paying attention) is by far the hardest job I have ever had.  And believe me when I tell you that I have worked for the hardest bosses ever and I even have worked with felons.  But those jobs were still easier than handling the onslaught of duties of being a SAHM. 

In the realm of mommy-hood a day that whizzes past can leave you feeling a bit unsettled.  You frantically try to recall the days events just to determine where exactly  the time went and some days you may have just struggled with your little offspring so much so that you are ready to throw in the towel, call a do-over on the day and beg Father Time to make it just end.  Your husband will barely be able to make it in the door as you leap on him like a cheetah begging for him to take over.  You inform him that your child has turned into the devil and is unruly and defiant.  Of course as you are saying this your baby sits sweetly in his highchair saying, “DADA” mockingly. 

Dark days are the ones that by the time you manage to get a hold of the day you realize that you haven’t even stopped for a minute to brush your hair, the sweater that you are wearing is actually on your teeth, and the clothes you have on are probably better off being burned.  Don’t judge me; mommies everywhere know that this actually happens.  I may have fooled you into thinking that I was some hot, multi-talented domestic diva but alas, I am not.  This is confirmed by looking down and seeing my Happy Hanukkah socks.  It’s laundry day, that’s my story and I am sticking to it!

            During these days a glance at the clock, 3pm, reminds you that you only have a short time until the hubs arrives home and will be anticipating a meal.  A day where you have to stop and ask yourself, “When exactly WAS the last time I showered?”  It can be a delicate balancing act trying to get in some “me” time.  If you choose to shower you may forgo lunch.  One glance in the mirror unveils the paleness of your cheeks and sun-touched highlights that obviously came from a box. 

No matter how many times you pull out the nail clippers to trim your little ones nails you still don’t take the five minutes needed to trim your own.  This of course can lead to unnecessary accidents.  Unfortunately, this was the case for me one afternoon when I was changing Gavin’s diaper.  I was attempting to add diaper cream as he was excitedly kicking around and I must have accidentally scratched his little bean bag.  Poor little guy let out a yelp.  I don’t understand why in a newborn care class they have you practice putting a diaper on a baby that is laying still.  It’s a huge faux pas if you ask me, no baby lays still for a diaper change.  Anyway, I spent the remainder of the day applying an antibacterial ointment to his baby parts.  So take a few minutes to clip your dagger nails.  It may prevent Mommy Scissorhands from adding more trouble to an already dark day.

It is during a dark day that you will log the hardest hours of baby care.  It is in that final, desperate attempt to get your child down for his nap that you suddenly see yourself back at your old full-time job.  In your head the questions start piling:

When was the last time he was fed?

When was the last time he was changed?

How long was his last nap?

Does he feel hot?

Is he too cold?

Is it too early for a cocktail?

You will rock your baby for what seems like a lifetime trying to get him to sleep and in the end, defeated; you will place him in the crib and take a few minutes to walk away.  These days make you think that you will never have the chance to leave the house again or confirm that you may not want to for fear of experiencing any of this madness in public.  Dark days always end with one of two things, a drink or a pill. 

For those friends that randomly decide to pop over to my house and see me with my hair tied up in a knot and still in my pajamas, I may very well just be in the midst of a dark day struggle so don't judge me, but next time could you pick up a burger on your way over?